A Lifestyle Guide by Willie Jacobson

Given that ‘relationships’ are the theme for Wave in the first term for the year, I thought it would be appropriate to share with you some valuable tips and lessons I have acquired over the years. Follow my advice, and you will no doubt be considered romantic…perhaps…

1. Instead of asking your mum to drop you at the movies, ask your grandma. That way you show your date that you are confident, funny and family orientated.
2. Do not go to the movies. It’s cliché and over-used and most importantly, you can’t talk (which may be a good thing in some cases I guess). The guy will be forced to watch a chik-flik or the girl will be forced to watch explosions and cool stuff.
3. Girls, do not over-do the dressing up. There’s nothing worse than seeing a girl dressed like she’s going to the Oscars when you were only planning on taking her for an ice-cream. There’s also nothing worse than feeling dizzy from all the perfume.
4. Guys, over-do your idea of dressing-up. As far as I can gather, most girls don’t appreciate man-smells as much as we do.
5. Think of new and exciting places to go. Like the luge, or bumper boats, or Paris…
6. Always tell your date that you have to be home at least an hour earlier than you actually have to. That way, if it goes horribly wrong, you get home an hour early. If it goes well, you can always say, ‘oh wait, I forgot, I’ve actually got another hour…’ See how that works?
7. If you’re unsure if the age gap is ok, this is the formula (assuming your age is X): Guys: (X/2) + 7 = minimum acceptable age of girl. Girls: (X-7) x 2 = maximum acceptable age of guy. This applies to anyone aged between 13 and 21. Stick to the formula and avoid confusion.
8. Check your watch regularly, right from the beginning. That way when you’ve had enough, it doesn’t look rude when you check the time all of a sudden. If you’ve been checking it from the start, your date will think you are simply organised and manage your time effectively.
9. Do your homework. Ask around, txt or Facebook stalk the person before being on your own with them. This way you will know their interests, hobbies, favourite book and what they had for lunch. This will impress your date by showing that you take a keen interest in them.

And finally yet most importantly:

• Avoid the awkward ‘should we hug or should we not’ moment at the end of your date by sticking out your hand and parting ways with a firm hand-shake. Awkward moment avoided.

Well there you have it, dating in 10 simple and easy to remember points. You can thank me later…