#2 I’m going to live!

After the rather long morose pause (over Christmas) on the first point, I probably waited too long to make the second – life!

Yes, Once I came to terms with the first point (dying), I have no other conclusion than to continue living until further notice.

If you truly understand the fragility of life, or at least the fragility of OUR plans, you can appreciate the value of God’s plan. In fact through all this, knowing that my days were numbered, made it possible to realise that my unfinished plans are okay; not knowing all the answers is okay, even not being right all the time is okay. She’ll be right. (Or He will be right)

I guess this is my new Christian world-view. I used to be anxious if people didn’t come to my party, then I became anxious wondering if people would come to my funeral. Mark Twain said “There is no greater burden than an unfilled potential”. Well I got to a stage where not one thing I had planned to do was working and the chance of achieving them was drifting off into someone else’s life. Then I met Jesus, and he said “I am the way and the truth and the life.” This sort of lifted the pressure on my unfulfilled potential.

So I am a lot more content with living these days. The trial of “losing it all” took me well and truly through the ‘Oh no!” to the “Ah well”. This is not some internal peace based on inner calm or positive thoughts, its completely constructed on the promise that Jesus will get me home and get me there in his perfect plan. Try changing THOSE plans you bullys! (I don’t know who I’m talking to, but lets just say the bad guys)

The dying issue is not over if Christ gives you new life, but it certainly removes the anxiety about how it ends. I’m still working out the HOW today will be, but I don’t live every day as if its my last, I’m going to live every day as if its my first.

“Even the hairs of your head are numbered..” Mt 10:30