The Flatter’s Financial Guide

After a considerable sabbatical from blogging, a peculiar urge has arisen today to rekindle the fire and impart some pearls of wisdom. As a disclaimer, it must be mentioned that this rekindling is fuelled by chronic sleep deprivation; hence may contain varying degrees of sense. However life in general contains varying degrees of sense and it therefore seems only fitting to model my blog after this fact.

My purpose today is to highlight responsible financial management for the budding individual who desires to spread their wings and fly into the realms of independent living. Contrary to what my physique may suggest, I have learnt to survive off little more than a daily pack of noodles and glass of water – following from nearly 3 years of flatting.

Flatting may be a daunting financial prospect for some, however, with a dose of planning and a pinch of common sense, you too may enjoy freedom and independence; like a young buck roaming free through the tranquil streams and mountain passes of the Southern Alps…

1. Never do your grocery shopping when hungry. One invariably purchases items that promise instant gratification rather than value. Have your dinner first, and then make your way to the nearest Pak ‘n Save.
2. Never purchase an item at full price. By utilizing ‘friend’ discounts at stores and sales, I can’t remember when last I paid full price for an item. That’s what friends are for; like Jacob at Rebel Sport…
3. Always fill your car with $40. That way, as petrol prices increase, it makes no difference to your budget…hmmm?
4. That brings me to the 4^th point: have a budget. Or at least keep track of your spending – that way you feel guilty after unnecessary splurges. www.sorted.org.nz is brilliant and shows you the cumulative cost of all those BK runs. Plus, it has a mouse on the homepage.
5. Get a job. I’ve heard many a lazy student complain of lack of time as a result of assignments and exams. Take off your nappy, sell the Xbox and work. If you can’t hack that, then mummy should probably still be making your sandwiches and tidying your room. But ‘you don’t understand!’ I hear you cry, oh but I do. Harden up.
6. If possible, buy groceries in bulk. Doing the grocery shopping together as a flat will cut your bill in half – literally. Ok not literally as in physically, but literally as in financially. There was a good pun in there somewhere but I killed it. Yes, I do consider myself a bit of a Navy Seal at times… – and yes, that does make sense if you think about it hard enough.
7. When the mercury drops, put on an extra layer. Heaters can double your electricity bills in winter; which is a waste when nanna has knitted you that cute jumper for a reason. Or snuggle with a hairy friend. Actually, I take that back – no snuggling. Sorry AK.
8. Become a label reader. Calculating the mass vs price ratio of grocery items will not only ease the crunch at the till, but will increase your mental arithmetic. This in turn will save time in your exams.

That’s about as much wisdom as I am able to produce for today. Come to think of it, the aforementioned was nothing more than stating the obvious – which really wouldn’t qualify it as being wisdom at all. However, you’d be surprised how few people utilize these points. The benefits of a little bit of financial discipline are so obvious, yet we so often choose to ignore it. Kinda like devotions sometimes…